Home > The Politics of Porn, Writing > Self-Deprecation Doesn’t Belong In My Toolbox

Self-Deprecation Doesn’t Belong In My Toolbox

Today’s entry in the neverending sweepstakes of shame: Even when I’m talking to other erotica authors, I find myself apologizing.

I’m serious. I need help. To acquaintances, I don’t talk about my writing at all. To friends, I minimize it as porn. To close friends, I both minimize it as porn AND downplay the erotic elements. And to potential colleagues, I apologize for it being too vanilla and not edgy enough.

I write what I myself would enjoy reading, for crying out loud. My entire life has been spent learning that I am not a special snowflake. For every thing I enjoy, there are thousands of other people with the same exact preferences. Millions, even.

I like reading M/F, M/F/F, and F/F. I like reading mild kink and threesomes. But I do not like double penetration, Sam I Am, I do not like it in the can. I do not like the whips and chains, and I do not like the golden rain.

For crying out loud, my entire goal is to write mainstream erotica. I should be thrilled that my preferences are so much in the middle of the stream that I can’t even see the shorelines. Today’s exercise is going to be working on telling other writers what I write, and doing it without caveats or apologies.

  1. January 25, 2010 at 4:43 PM

    Erotica and porn are totally different.

    Erotica is tasteful. Porn is not.
    Erotica has a plot line. Sex is the whole plot for porn.
    Erotica is allowed in bookstores. Do you see any porn there?

    big difference. Don’t call it porn or I shall slap you with a rolled up manuscript. πŸ˜›

  2. January 25, 2010 at 5:05 PM

    Uninvoked: So if you have a reason for hitting me with a rolled up manuscript, it’s erotic?


    I try so hard to be funny. πŸ™‚

    But seriously. There are product lines with very mainstream publishers where none of the material I bought as research had a discernible plot. That could just be sour grapes, of course.

    The real issue is that so much is subjective. What makes a sexual fantasy tasteful?

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: