Apple has been a bunch of busy bees, lately, pruning out apps that might be the least bit salacious, even going so far as to reject an app for having “sperm” in the public facing text. This reminds me of the breast cancer patient unable to research her recommended treatment at her small town public library, but Apple is not a library. They are a private company and free to do what they like.

What they like isn’t consistent, however, and that annoys the dickens out of me. Given the lyric content of stuff I’ve bought from iTunes, the sudden prudery is mindboggling. If I go down my playlist and look for the red “explicit” tag, I see… a lot of little red boxes.

A friend of mine zapped me an instant message that said, paraphrased, “What gets me is this was a reaction to the way people got upset that Junior could see a chick in a bikini on their iPhone. So, for giggles one day I searched for Penthouse in the audio books, and listened to a 30 second preview of a moaning how much, and how hard she wanted this guy to bend her over the pool table and do her.”

We are not going to get anywhere as a culture by constantly bowing to prudes, hypocrites, and Mrs. Grundy. I know it’s ironic that I say that, given that I’m hiding under a pen name, but I can’t afford to lose any of my day jobs – and that’s exactly what will happen if Mrs. Grundy finds out that I write a lot about hard cocks and the women who love them. I can’t afford to stand up and fight this battle on my own. My kid can’t afford it. But Apple could afford it. Apple could say, listen, get your panties out of your crack, Mrs. Grundy (unless you like ’em there, and who are we to judge). Look for the red “explicit” box, and if that kind of smutty talk upsets you, DON’T CLICK IT.

Apple wouldn’t lose a single freaking sale over it. They certainly haven’t suffered with iTunes. Why can’t they apply this simple solution across all their product lines?

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